Forget itIf you are like most people, you try to forget difficult times. And suppress thinking about the ‘negative’ side of who you are. The problem is: you cannot unthink yourself, nor your past. Yes, there are many ways not to think about it: distractions, working hard, partying, drinking, drugs. A pity that most of those escapes are harmful or at least not helpful.
How to deal with your shadowsWhat does help is to face and embrace your shadows. To my experience, this is very scary, confronting AND very liberating. It takes courage. The willingness to look at yourself, including your ‘dark side,’ is already a healing step. The next step is trying to accept that this is also you, and this part is okay. If you accept yourself, including your shadows, you might want to go to the next level: embrace and love your shadows.
Embrace and love your shadowsEmbracing and loving your shadows is not easy. I needed a good coach and some guided visualizations to get to this point. And that is what I recommend. Find a good coach who understands the importance of embracing your shadows and knows how to guide you in your process. It is worth the effort. You will get to a whole new level of inner peace.
I don’t want to look.
At this part of me that I dislike and I feel embarrassed about.
That part that confronts me with my weaknesses.
Reminding me of difficult times in my life and feeble attempts to handle them.
The easiest way is to ignore, suppress, or avoid.
Because I fear what I might see. I fear the truth that I might see.
The only way is to look… and accept.
This is also me. I am also me.
If I finally look at my shadow, I get tears in my eyes.
My shadow is afraid too.
The fear that created behavior that once was (or at least seemed) the best thing to do.
My shadow is ashamed too, vulnerable.
I embrace my shadow…
Al emotions are present now.
The only thing my shadow needs is to be seen and to be loved.
Here I am.
Now I know my shadows are not adversaries. They are allies.
Helping me learn from the past. Helping me heal in the now.